Happy "Fif" Birthday Amelia

Nana was in town to help us celebrate Amelia's birthday

Per Amelia's request, a Captain America shield cake made with love by daddy

Obligatory pic with the Lehman Birthday Banner. We use the same banner for all the kids' birthdays.

Andrew was sleeping, but I wanted to include him in the festivities

 Celebrating Amelia's fifth birthday as a family of FIVE

Andrew is HOME!

I'm just super thankful to have such a supportive, loving husband that helped guide me through this "birth adventure."  My mom was amazing with the big kids and holding down the fort while we traveled back and forth to visit Andrew.  

I also had several friends that also had a NICU experience and their guidance and kind words really helped me though all the overwhelming emotions I went through.  They made me feel normal and hopeful that this would soon be over and I could focus on being a good mom to my new baby.

Andrew's Car Seat Test-

At the NICU, Andrew had to stay in his car seat with all his monitors for the length of time it took for us to get home.  They wanted to make sure he could be in the car seat without any issues before sending us home for the real thing.

We made it home!

Andrew at the NICU

I was discharged Sunday morning, just 22 hours after my emergency c section.  They allowed me to leave early, so I could travel to Nashville to visit Andrew.  I was so thankful for the hospital's flexibility.

I still can't believe my little guy traveled all the way to Nashville without Jimmy and I.  He spent the first week of his life in a hospital, away from his parents and siblings.  At home, there were so many moments where Jimmy and I would just look at each other and feel confused about the whole situation... "We just had a baby, right?"  It didn't feel that way at all.

It was awkward to be at the house, not pregnant, with no baby.  We felt the most guilt at night.  We kept thinking that we should be waking up with our newborn baby, not sleeping through the night as if nothing happened.  We constantly wondered what Andrew was doing and how he was feeling.  We missed him so much.

Andrew's stay in the NICU was the most difficult thing I have gone through, both emotionally and physically.  I went though so many feelings of guilt and sadness, knowing I could only be with Andrew for a few hours a day. The hospital he was admitted to was an hour drive from our house, so the long drives home were the worst. We didn't want to leave him.

In addition to the emotional stress, the daily trips back and forth to Nashville were wearing on my battered body. I never really had time to heal and relax. I was in so much pain and I couldn't even walk.  I had to use a wheelchair just to get from the hospital parking garage to the NICU. Unfortunately, I also developed an infection, which made everything more difficult and more painful.

In addition to the c section recovery and infection, I was desperately trying to get my milk to come in. I was pumping every two hours since my c section.  I even set my alarm to go off every two hours through the night.  It was a lot of work and so exhausting, but I was determined to breastfeed Andrew.

My pumping obsession was probably fueled by my desperation of asserting some sort of control over our situation.  I kept thinking that this was one of the only things I could do and focus on while he was in the NICU.

Andrew had been using a pacifier since birth and before my milk came in, he was given formula through a bottle.  I knew it was going to be an uphill battle with breastfeeding. Thankfully, my milk eventually came in and Andrew latched on immediately. He's been exclusively breastfeeding ever since. Finally, something positive!

This is one of my favorite pictures of Andrew.  It's from our first visit in the NICU.

A smile?

We did Kangaroo Care (skin to skin) as much as possible during our visits.  Here, Andrew in inside my dress!  He kept "rooting" (trying to breastfeed), but he was still being fed by an IV at this time.  They wanted him to be more stable before attempting to feed him by bottle or breastfeeding.

We brought the big kids for a visit.  Unfortunately, Alex wasn't able to see his little brother because kids under the age of four were not allowed in the NICU.

Before entering the NICU, each visitor had to scrub in.  We had to scrub our hands for two minutes using special soap, brushes, and picks.  Once we were all clean, we had to get into hospital gowns.  Amelia was especially excited because they had toddler sized pink Minnie Mouse gowns for the kids.

Amelia was proud and excited to finally meet her littlest brother.

Lola meets Andrew

During this visit, he was ready to try breastfeeding.  Success!

Big yawns

This was taken on the day he started breathing all on his own

Look closely... no IV and no tubes!  It's almost time to go home!

Andrew's Birth Story

My doctor stripped my membranes on Thursday, August 6th.  Just a few hours after the procedure, I started having contractions.  The contractions continued sporadically with about 10-15 minutes between each one, for the next 48 hours.

On Saturday morning, I was ready to head to the hospital as my contractions finally reached five minutes between each one.  I just got out of the shower and we were getting ready to leave.  I felt a huge gush.  I thought my water had broken, but when I looked down, there was blood everywhere. The blood continued to gush out, so we rushed to the hospital.

Thankfully, the drive to the hospital was only 15 minutes, but it was probably the longest, emotional, and most painful 15 minutes of my life.  I was taken by wheelchair to labor and delivery. I was very scared, but felt at ease once we were in the hospital.  As soon as we checked in and explained my symptoms I was admitted right away.  

I was monitored for a few minutes and given an epidural. The bleeding and gushing continued, so I was immediately prepped and brought into the operating room for an emergency c section.

Trying to find some humor in all this pain and drama... or maybe it was the drugs?

C section time

 

It was during my surgery that they realized my placenta had ruptured and separated from my uterus. This was causing all my bleeding and extreme pain. Andrew was in distress and born with a collapsed lung.  He was taken to the special care unit almost immediately after birth.

My doctor told me they were able to get the baby out just in time.  Had they waited any longer, there would have been more catastrophic issues for both me and the baby.  We were so lucky.

Cutting the cord... he peed all over Jimmy

Welcome to the world little man.  You made quite the entrance!

Andrew James Gadingan Lehman was born on August 8th (08/08) at 10:34am at Blanchfield Army Community Hospital (BACH).  He weighed 8 pounds and 8 ounces and was 21 inches in length.

Jimmy held Andrew near my face so I could see him while I was still on the operating table. At the time, I didn't know he was sick and that it would be 12 long hours until I would see him again.  Once the c section was complete, I was wheeled into the recovery room and eager to be with Andrew again.

Andrew stayed in the special care unit for the next 12 hours and I wasn't able to see or hold him.  It may have been the drugs, but I just remember everything feeling surreal and cloudy.  I had just given birth to my baby, but he wasn't with me.  It felt so unnatural.

Everyone kept telling me to sleep and relax.  I was tired, but couldn't sleep.  They kept reassuring me that Andrew was okay.  I was so worried.  It was confusing and stressful for me to be away from him for so long.

Later that evening, we were told that he needed to be transferred to a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) in Nashville, which was over an hour drive away.  I was an emotional wreck, especially since I had not been able to see or hold him since he was born.

Here are pictures from his stay in BACH's Special Care Unit.  I wasn't able to visit him for the first day, since I was in recovery and they were still treating him.  Jimmy was able to visit him twice and took these pictures.  These were the first real glimpses I had of him after he was born.  I looked at these over and over again the first day!

From the pictures, he looked so big to me!

Knowing Andrew was leaving for the NICU in Nashville, they allowed me to visit him before he left in the ambulance.

There is nothing that can prepare you for seeing your newborn baby in that setting.  After 12 long hours, I finally got to hold Andrew and give him kisses and cuddles.  It was so emotional and it felt surreal.  I kept telling myself, "Is this really happening?"  He was calm and sleepy.  He didn't look sick.  I'll never forget when he finally opened his eyes and looked right at me.

 Finally, our first cuddle!

 

Once the ambulance came to pick him up, they stopped by my room for one last goodbye.  They explained everything that was happening, what the ambulance ride would be like for Andrew, and what treatments he would receive once he arrived at the NICU. It was a tough moment.  I was an emotional wreck.

They had him in a giant portable incubator and there were wires and tubes all over his body.  He looked so tiny in that big machine. To say goodbye, I had to put my arm through a little window and touch his face.

Safe travels little man

I wasn't able to go with Andrew, since I was still recovering from the surgery.  It was Saturday evening and, at the time, they told me I wouldn't be discharged until Monday.  They also advised Jimmy to stay with me and help me focus on my recovery.  They would be treating Andrew throughout the night and day. There wasn't anything he could do if he went to the NICU, but would be more helpful helping me recover so I could get well enough to visit Andrew in Nashville.